Friday, 26 December 2008

Why I Am Strange

One day after church, Bell and I were discussing the people we knew who were strange. I was suggesting people, and she kept saying "No, he's not strange, he's weird." Or, "No, she's not strange, she's clinically insane." We struggled to define the word strange until Bell said; "Well, you're strange." I was delighted! I asked her to justify it. What follows are her observances, and then Anna's, on the same worthy subject.

Observed by Bell:

  • I wear lots of bright colours all at the same time.
  • I love presents but hate opening them.
  • I love offal.
  • I have strange toilet fetishes [see here]
  • I always have an old cabbage in the fridge (it's true, I do! A different one each time she looks!)
  • I'm a deep thinker but I love things like Big Brother and have Jesus' on Wheels.
  • I am innately childish.
  • I am good at singing but I'm too embarrassed to sing.
  • I give people names from Jesus (Croissant, ShoeKeeper, Tiny Dancer, Melon Raider etc.)
  • I like stones being thrown at my bottom.
  • I've got a music degree but I can't sing and clap at the same time.
  • All of my shoes are really badly broken and stored on a hat rack which is on the floor.
  • I own enough pants to wear one a day for 3 months without washing them.
  • I hate hot weather but live in a flat which is like a sauna.
  • I have a very strange phobia.
  • I do utterly inaccurate impersonations of people.
  • Being called strange causes me inexpressible delight.

Observed by Anna:

  • I have a friend called Croissant.
  • I find single words out of context funny (eg. Paper. Hahahah!)
  • I think my cuddly toys are real.
  • I am simultaneously very introvert and very extrovert.
  • I am actually obsessed with flatulence.
  • I am very messy indeed, but my CD collection is perfectly alphabetised and each disc has the title at perfect right angles to the edge of the case, and all my knickers are folded perfectly in a special way.
  • I carry around a book in which to write lists (like this one, the previous post and the one after this one).
  • I say words funny (see following post).
  • I laugh much longer than anyone else if I find something funny. This often means that I will still be laughing when the subject matter in the conversation has moved on to much more somber things.
  • If a car horn beeps I go 'excuse me' as if it was my bum, and think I am being funny and original every time.
  • I can never remember what I have just done, or what I am supposed to be doing next.
  • I suddenly make loud, isolated, completely random sounds.
  • Sometimes I sway.

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