Thursday, 12 June 2008

You're Not Going to Believe This But...

...It's happened again.

I really need to stop going to these arty~type places.

So I was in this bar with a friend having a normal beer. Nice. Normal. She had to go to the loo so I remained seated by myself at the bar while I waited for her. Now, sitting at a bar by oneself when one has a disposition like mine is already quite a vulnerable position to be in. But I remained there trying to be inconspicuous, as is my way.

Then something a bit odd happened.

A group of people at the bar began to shout thier drink orders to one particular bar maid. First ordinary drinks, and then cocktails: "Witch's Tit! Slippery Nipple! Sex on the Beach!" Etc. They shouted louder and louder while the bar maid repeated them back. I began to notice that there was a definate rhythm to this, and that yes, I was unwittingly part of another peculiar random art performance.

I was fairly happy watching this from the side, but after a few minutes of this something horrifying happened.

The bar maid got up onto the bar and began to tap dance, meaning that a spotlight was on her and the section of bar that I was sitting at alone, rapidly failing at trying to be inconspicuous.

Why do these sorts of things happen to me? I'm beginning to wonder if I am a part of some Trueman Show~esque world where utterly random things happen to me just to see if I go mad. I mean, did you read that sentence above? "The bar maid got up onto the bar and began to tap dance". All I wanted was a beer.