Thursday, 15 February 2007

OddBabble's Strange Dreamworld #5

So I'm a man and I'm heavily pregnant.
I am on my way to have a caesarean, presumably to prevent the baby from coming out of some unimaginable orifice.
It's a local anaesthetic, but I don't have the luxury of one of those merciful green screens to stop me from being able to view the internal contents of my own body. Thus I am conversing furiously with my 'birthing partners' (Witsy & B) demanding that they 'ASKMEANOTHERQUESTIONASKMEANOTHERQUESTION' the moment a silence lapses, since I know if I don't keep talking I will......look down.After a suprisingly short time I am cautiously standing up (still not wanting to look down, as i had a nasty feeling they'd forgotten to sew me up again) and the midwife comes over and says; 'here's your baby'.
I look, puzzled, into the black bucket full of blood and fat. "Where?" I ask."There." She says. As I look closer I can see a tiny, foetus sized creature with a hideously disproportionately large head which looks as if it is made of glittery suede.
You'd think I'd be disgusted but it has such a beautiful, serene, knowingly content smile on its face that I know I'm going to be the most loving daddy in all the world.

Sorry. Even I feel a little bit queasy now.

Sunday, 11 February 2007

So anyway, back to me...

What ever happened to lazy, egocentric blog posts? It's about time I brought them back into fashion! Found this on The Frightening Lisa Dickinson's blog, and thought I'd steal a bit of Me Time too.
Your Name:
My name:
Summarize me in three words:
Where did we meet:
Take a stab at my middle name:
How long have you known me:
When is the last time that we saw each other:
Do I drink?:
Do I smoke:
Am I happy:
Am I a good person:
What was your first impression of upon meeting me/seeing me:
What's one of my favorite things to do:
Am I funny:
How do you make me smile:
What's my favorite type of music:
Have you ever seen me cry:
Can I sing?:
What is the best feature about me:
Am I shy or outgoing:
Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:
Do I have any special talents:
Would you call me preppy, average, sporty, punk, hippie, glam, nerdy, snobby, or something else (what):
I'm hot? Am I not? Go ahead, you can say ... :
Have you ever hugged me:
Kissed me?:
What is my favorite food:
Have you ever had a crush on me:
Am I dating anyone:
If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be:
What's your favorite memory of me:
Who do I like right now:
What is my worst habit:
If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is the one thing I would bring?
Are we friends:
Do you want us to be more than friends?
Do I believe in God?
Am I family oriented?
Who is my best friend?
Will you repost this so I can do it?

Copy it, paste it in a comment, make me smile.