After nearly ten years together, my flatmate and I are finally about to go our separate ways and live separately alone. As I was looking around the flat at our stuff, I realised that I don't own a lot of essential items like kettles, irons, hoovers etc. because we owned them jointly. It occured to me that when people do this the other way around, ie, two single people set up home together, they send out a wedding list. I have to confess I've never been the greatest fan of them; either the couple have been living together already for years, and so already have loads of stuff and just want newer versions, and so why should I have to buy it for them?! Or they have TWO of everything already, so why should I buy them another version of something they already have in duplicate?!* Anyway, I was thinking about the fact that an 'anti-wedding list' would be a jolly useful and justifiable thing for me. I need stuff! But then I imagined what it would be like going to John Lewis by myself to set up the wedding list, thinking of course of the Lord Jesus as my future husband in Heaven....
John Lewis employee: What name shall I say?
JLP: Normally couples come to see us together, when will your future husband be coming?
Me: Ah, no-one knows, not even He does....although I think His Father knows....but He is definately coming!
JLP: Rrrriggghhttt.........[tries to change the subject].....so, what kind of wedding are you planning?
Me: Well, I won't be the only bride.....there'll be LOADS of us....some of them will be men....in fact, a lot of them will be dead!!
*I recognise and embrace the bitterness implied by these comments.